Life @ NCP

not everyone needs to go outside to have fun

Identical first and last

I just finished cleaning up my email files at work as today is my last day, working in a sponsor company for my IT3. Ironically, my first day and today felt exactly the same, despite the 6 months period in between. I didn’t feel comfortable with my colleagues, just like I first met them, and I didn’t feel that they are going to miss me much either. Just like strangers who always sat around them but have no relationships, they probably wouldn’t find my absence much of a difference.

Good on them then, they shouldn’t be feeling sad because I am not worth it. I’m feeling a little bit sad but yet indifferent about leaving the place. It is just that I didn’t do what I think I should have done. Six months is a long time to be stuck on a desk doing nothing much than surfing the net (ok maybe I’m exaggerating a little), but yet it was short enough to make me unstirred about whatever had happened and was happening. Until now, until it is too late to make a change.


my face progression in IT

There are several causes to this that I can see on my perfect hindsight. As usual, I stuffed myself with too much things to do, without realising that I am very unorganised. I mean, I have known that all along, but I never thought about it properly. For the session that has just passed, I have a 9 to 5 job every day. Nonetheless I took a job as a lab supervisor for 2 classes at uni. I have a course on Wednesday and that goes from 6-9pm, and I was also doing Thesis A throughout the session. On top of everything, I took a president position in BITSA, a student organisation for the degree that I am doing. Just the contact hours are enough to make me tired most of the nights and to sleep extremely well, but the worse part was that I couldn’t discipline myself enough to do all my homework on the weekend.

It all went kaboom when recruitment hit me. Suddenly I had to fill in so many application forms, despite the fact that they were all asking exactly what I had listed on my resume. Cover letter was a biatch and I hated making them. Luckily I didn’t have to go through many assessment centres, thanks for going through a scholarship degree that has been well known and established since 1989. I did, however, have to go through quite a fair bit of interviews. Each of them may only take an hour or so, but I still have to prepare for them hours before hand. After the interviews, usually I felt so anxious too.

By the time I managed to score a job, things at work had started changing. I then had taken a fair few days off here and there. My colleagues were starting to doubt my reliability of being in the office everyday, and because of that, what started from not having that many jobs, turned out to be worse. At the same time, uni work had gotten a lot busier because it was getting closer to exam time. Assignment was due, thesis proposal was looming. I thought “Screw this, I didn’t sleep much last night doing assignments and yet here I am at work not doing any much useful”. So I started adding more “work” into work. I was more productive in my overall game, but my work commitment gradually fell through the roof.

I chatted less to my colleagues and went out less with them. Our usual conversations were not there anymore, and I gave up on trying to be a better employee. I waited until today come.

And it has, but it isn’t a day that I can look back and said that I am satisfied with myself.